Heartbreak.

So there's all kinds,
especially when you're big hearted,
and you're generous, and kinda,
and you lend out your vulnerabilty,
whether it goes unnoticed or not.

I swear the kind that hurts the worse,
is the kind you hope never happens.
All my life guys have let me down,
I guess when i met you,
I hoped that wasn't the case.
All my life i've always said,
"you Have to expect that people will let you down,
becuase then when they do, it's not surprising.
If you don't expect much, it's harder for them to
let you down"

But when it comes to you,
you have my heart,
and the slightest little thing,
can hurt me the worst.
Its not that you're a let down,
but when it comes to my heart,
I cant help but to want the best for it.

I would never say these words,
except now, i'm just really hurt.
When i read those words that you wrote,
of all people, to her.

I swear i could feel my heart break,
with every word i read,
my heart tore right down the center,
and for you it surely bled.

My lungs hurt still,
and my chest hasnt stopped hurting,
from collapsing of my chest,
and the lunging in my heart.

I know i can treat you like shit sometimes,
but dont worry,
you always get your fair share in.
I dont know what to think,
my hearts torn in what to believe,
I guess your chest speaks it all,
"The best part of believe is the lie"
Because right now,
my heart is crumbling inside.
But deep inside my heart,
i know i'll only forgive,
simply because i cant forget.
Sure my heart will hold a grudge,
but know my mind means well.
I dont know who to blame,
is it you, or is it myself?

Did I do something wrong somewhere,
did i simply not do enough?
Did you fake it all along,
Just to prove you're tough.

Did i become too vulnerable,
blinded by my love for you?
Did you see an oppurtunity,
to use a girls feelings for you,
and break them down,to boost your ego?

I've seen you lie,
I've seen the way you come and go,
I've seen the way i blush over you,
and i see the way my feelings flow.

Did I not give you enough attention,
becasue i know thats what you crave?
Is it somehow my fault, taht i'm feeling like this,
because i'm hurt, i'm crying,
i just cant believe this.

I want to believe you,
but i swear, just like i told you,
every time i open up,
it comes back around and bites me.
It's like i cant get it right.
and love just likes to spite me.


"I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late and,
I'm already torn"

things

And times have been hard lately.
I've kept somethings to myself...
Seems so loud inside my head,
But i dont feel like talking.

I feel so alone lately,
homesick, lovesick,
The countless fights,
long drawn out nights.
I just wish i could say,
all that's on my mind.

Things haven't gone
quite the way i'd like,
my constant nerves,
and our frequent fights.

I've got so much on my mind,
someone hear me out,
i dont know what i want
or what to speak about.

Certain people,
certain things,
Who to tell,
who to blame?

I can't be alone,
no not again,
just stay around,
i could always use a friend.



People have been coming in
out, and around my life lately.
Relationships have been changing.
I lost my best guy friend,
He says its for the best,
But i've lost that one more friend,
that i confide in.
But amongst the ones leaving,
some have came back.
I guess i'll never know,
just where my life is at.