The next three weeks

Are going to be the hardest of all.
The weeks i go to my dads
are long and never ending.

The feelings never cease to end.
All those years of your neglect,
why do I feel guilty?
What did i do?!
Not ask for enough time with you.

I know i'm not the perfect daughter,
but if i could be and i could make you happy
I strive for it everytime i'm with you.
I secretly wish i could stop pretending,
but the guilt traps me, and i keep trying.

I know, that i AM a good person,
and i wish i could simply show you that,
and have you accept it.

These three weeks are going to be
the most insecure, vulnerable, hurtful
weeks of my life.
And i'm going to face it all alone.
It's time to stand up?

Chapter one

No one knows what she conceals
behind her fake smiles and brown eyes
She turns to the last of her pills,
She can't bear another night alone,
Knowing he's walking the city
letting his heart roam.
She begins to choke,
the thin air filling her throat,
as she remembers
the lovely workds he once spoke.
To help calm the nerves she grabs a pack
and pulls one out to smoke.

At the age of 16 she couldn't be more damaged.
Heart broken and shattering, begins to hammer
with a love she can only help but to miss,
While sitting in the dark of this night.

Every night is the same,
with frightened dreams,
filled wither her rugged edged thoughts.

If only he knew
how destructive he was when tearing her heart in two.
As the pills go down,
her blond hair falls in her face,
causing memories of herself once,
filled with grace and elegance.
Now heart broken and destroyed-
that girl is no longer,
because that girl was stronger.
And this new replacement will never be.

Her ciggarette ashes fall on her leg
and through her ripped jeans,
her pale skin starts to burn
watching, she hopes she'll learn.
someday,
learn that pain isn't always the easiest way.

Her mom and boyfriend cause another fight in the living room,
Another scene she'll have to break up soon.
before mom gets torn up and bruised.

As her eyes began to blur,
while staring at her own bruises
she begans to wonder,
will anyone ever understand,
does anyone have the time,
will anyone eventually save her
before she runs out of her own time.