The next three weeks

Are going to be the hardest of all.
The weeks i go to my dads
are long and never ending.

The feelings never cease to end.
All those years of your neglect,
why do I feel guilty?
What did i do?!
Not ask for enough time with you.

I know i'm not the perfect daughter,
but if i could be and i could make you happy
I strive for it everytime i'm with you.
I secretly wish i could stop pretending,
but the guilt traps me, and i keep trying.

I know, that i AM a good person,
and i wish i could simply show you that,
and have you accept it.

These three weeks are going to be
the most insecure, vulnerable, hurtful
weeks of my life.
And i'm going to face it all alone.
It's time to stand up?