Things I need to say, just to get them off my chest

Dear ___________,

I love you more than anything. Not as much as I could, because I don’t love myself, and in order to love you as much as I can, I’ve got to learn how to love myself. Sometimes my thoughts and mind scare me. Because I know things, that I just don’t like admitting to myself, but they’re constantly in my mind, and here I’m pouring them out.

You can have any one of them you please. Any one of them would kill to take my place. All you would have do is say the word. Waiting there at your grasp, ever single one willing, to make you replace me. If we were to fall apart, any of them willing to make you forget me, it’d be simple just to replace me. They’re all so pretty, and I’m not so special.

You like this at your grasp and sometimes you flaunt it. You know they all want you, and somewhere inside, that pleases you. To know, you can have anyone you want, that’s got to be a guilty pleasure. Dangling them all on a string, it’s pathetic of them. But who am I to talk, you’ve got me wrapped around you finger in love, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do, if only I could give you every star above. The only thing I have over them, is I know neither will love you as I love you now and forever. Everywhere we go, there’s at least 5 just wanting you to give the cue, and who’s just standing there beside you? Watching as they quiver with hope. You do everything you can to lead them on, to make them want you. When really, is it not enough that I want you, with everything I have, and all of them combined, I just want you as mine.

Yet in myself somewhere I know, all of the opposite gender want me too. I could flash a smile and make them melt, if I had the confidence. But do I flaunt this? No. Because it doesn’t matter to me whether they want me or not, because you wanting me, is quite enough. You’re so perfect, it’s insane…I don’t understand , why out of everyone you could choose, you chose me? Sometimes I don’t understand how I got so fortunate. You’re all I’ve ever asked for, all I’ve ever wanted, and you appeared out of no where. I just happened to be in the right place, at the right time. Pure coincidence.

You have this capability to melt me with a smile, or a laugh. You complain about your body, as if it’s not perfect, the smoothest skin just asking to be touched; muscles so defined you don’t have to flex. The way your voice carries to my heart when you speak, it just literally makes my heart skip a beat. With one single touch of your hand to my face, my heart begins to race, chills run up my back and form a blush on my face. The way your jaw line is so defined, just whispers “kiss me kiss me, one more time.” I love the safety I feel when you wrap your arms around me, or the contentment I feel when our fingers intertwine. I could go on forever and ever about the things about you that make me weak, especially the sweet things you say, and my inability to speak. The way your breath brushes against my lips, “I love you” it carries, and my heart rips. I’m so vulnerable right now, it’s not even right, I can’t sleep with out you when you’re not beside me at night.

Please don’t ever leave me, I wouldn’t know what to do, I’m not Beyonce, you are irreplaceable, You’re the second person to touch my heart the way you have, and if you leave, I’ll never gain my composure back. I love you, I love you so much, all I ask is Please just love me back.

Yours enternally,
Kayla