MRB

I had a dream about you last night,
Havent thought of you in a while,
but as I lay awake this morning,
the hurt in my heart,
and the twisting aches in my stomach came back.
I wished I could hurl,
I wished I could claw my eyes out.
I started to gasp as my lungs tightened.
I couldnt breath for a moment there,
thinking of all the pain you've brought me.
All the horrible things you've taught me.
How terrfiying to know,
that with one dream,
you send my body into a horrible siezure
of memories that make my blood cease to flow
It was so hard,
so fucking hard to let you go.
But I managed somehow
to keep on going,
my blood has started flowing
for the past two years,
not once have these memories brought me to tears,
but there I was laying in bed,
all those painful things you did and said.
Were crawling through my body
my heart my soul,
and at the time I felt like letting go.
But I've moved on since then
and in this dream,
you helpled me find my way,
walking down the street not realizing it was you,
not realizing it's the same boy that broke my heart in two.
You werent the boy in this dream,
that I once knew.
You were better,
Not as selfish and cruel.
But I woke from this dream realizing it was you,
and at that moment I started choking,
wishing It was me choking you.

"I'm a little bit, insecure... from all of these mistreatments" -NeverShoutNever.